...and that is exactly when everything goes to hell in a handbasket Alice!
The root of the problems and the core of all solutions, the ability to think and rationalize!
The depth of the tricks that my mind can play with me is astonishing. It can make me feel like everything is going to end the very next moment and force me into thinking and feeling things I would not consider under normal circumstances. Immediately after that crescendo of emotions overwhelms my being and forces me into looking back into my past or go crawl back to someone who rejected me does it start evaporating that fog around my brain. Suddenly, everything is clear again. The lack of clarity that forced me to see limited options and think that the walls around me were caving, that the only way I could keep breathing was if I would go back and text that person that clearly ended things between us. Just as one sees the vastness of nature and the wanders it presents when one is up inside the clouds on top of a mountain, once I send that text, I see clearly that it was all in my head, my imagination. The world wasn't ending. No, she didn't change her feelings towards me. No, she will not come back into my life. All I did was ensure that I forfeited my progress. All I did was give in and my brain played a big part in tricking me into the same.
I am pretty weak Alice, but It was real nonetheless!
No comments:
Post a Comment