Lights out Alice!
Came across the movie titled "Sir" on Netflix. It is a 2023 released tamil movie starring Dhanush that revolves around how ONE professor with a vision to provide access to education to underprivileged and far off communities brought about a sea change that could take on the private education business sector.
It reminded me of how privileged I am, how entitled I am and how I have wasted my life and actually achieved nothing. I could be doing good to the society, or at least trying to, but here I am, trying to figure out which house would offer a easier commute to a pointless high paying job in marketing.
Damn Alice, what has this society come to. Wait, why am I blaming anybody else but myself for this failure? Nobody else forced me to take this loan. I could have gathered enough courage, taken a stand and provided free education or done anything else to help the society. No, I just bark big things but have taken zero action towards them till date. I am nothing but a barking dog which makes a lot of NOISE, not the kind that will bring about any change, but the kind that is just plain irritating.
It brings me close to tears thinking about the reality that in fact there might not be any big things in me. I would end up as just another white collar who toiled and wasted his life chasing meaningless salary figures, societal platitudes and never made an iota of difference to the society. SHIT.
When I say big things, I do not mean money, but making a difference to the society. SHIT, because it might just be the end of the road for me. I will never be anything more than an entry level management whose job is trivial and pointless and all he does is earn money to be able to earn more money for no reason. My soul will start withering and then die soon as I enter the corporate rat race world.
Damn, Alice...I didn't want to see it, but this is the end of ME and my free thinking, optimistic side.
I failed you Alice and I failed my parents, failed my potential and ultimately FAILED MYSELF.
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