Thorns in Roses

 Lights out Alice!

It had been a while since life had thrown a major curveball and hence internally I was bracing myself for one. Although, I don't think the kind of curveball that was thrown at me was anywhere close to significant levels of probability for me to even remotely consider it in my horizon. On second thought, isn't that the very definition of a curveball?

Once again, in midst of all this, I am also torn with the prospect of letting my walls down with 225, which again occupies my mind in terms of the dilemma between walking away and never opening up or ending up hurting someone. All the while I need to also remember that I haven't checked of her availability or interest, both of which should be clear at the start. The problem with insisting on this clarification is that then things can never go back the way they were before. The problem with the previous line even is the fact things NEVER really go back to the way before. It is just a hiccup in our head and with every passing second, things change. It changes for the better sometimes, but most of the times it just gets worse and in some rare occasions does it change for the worse to actually make it better.

Don't worry, the above paragraph was not my usual tangential digression in that it was intentional in helping delay writing about the shit that life has thrown. I don't think I would ever be able to spell out clearly what went down but I do rue the fact that 233 has an inkling of the situation. Generally, big shit type of things are something I never really share with anyone and just lie through my teeth in explaining everything but the actual thing. That's just me and my walls that end up alienating me from people and preventing me for ever really opening up. That is sad I know, but hey, I am trying to adapt to it the best way I know without losing my head or hurting others. Life does not come with any manual on how to deal with shitty situations of epic proportions and in those moments I just hope and pray that the things I utter are not wrong or hurtful but just an honest conveyance of my sentiments regarding the matter. Funny thing in all of this is how we are taught so much about knowledge, education and scientific matters but are never really taught how to deal with life. Maybe because nobody has really figured it out or maybe we are all just pretending.

Whatever the case maybe Alice, I just hope things get better for them soon!