Lights out Alice!
Well, as humans, we are bound to make mistakes and commit gross errors that are just an outcome of the circumstance more than just an outcome of the person being wrong or mal-intentioned. A lot of the time I fail to take into account that every conversation, every experience has a set of underlying circumstance built into it that actually drives the outcome of that experience, good or bad, happy or sad. In effect, there are variables that we have identified that can contribute to the outcome and then there are variables that we have not identified that do play a significant role in the outcome but their relevance is lost on us. An example of the same would be when we are having a bad day, we sometimes over-react on a situation that goes slightly out of kilter. At this moment, we might later on attribute our over-reaction to the fact that we had a poor day and chalk it up to learnings but the next level of understanding tells us that the other set of people who were part of that outburst might not know the circumstances that led up to that event and if it is the first or part of a rare set of interactions with us, they would form a skewed understanding of our nature and abilities.
KP- I am wrong - I resent it - Not her fault - My bad - I am dealing with it poorly - My behaviour has been pathetic - But what was the other option - How do I get it out of my head and how do I not harbour that - How do I move on and how do I behave better - What would be her side and what is my experience - Why I am choosing to not be a friend of convenience - Does it make me a bad person? - Yes, it does because I am lashing out on a person for something that is out of their control - They never told me to feel the way I did and they did the honourable thing of clarifying intentions on the outset - on top of that, I saw it coming and yet it hurt so much...and that is on me, not on them
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