Why can't I see through anything that I pick up till the end?

 Lights out Alice!

As a professional grade scatterbrain, I am used to hyper-fixating on a topic for a short time, committing to unrealistic timelines, effort and goals and then ditching them immediately when the next new thing comes around for me to hyper-fixate. This is a wasteful and despicable habit that runs away from the struggle that is a pre-requisite to learning anything correctly. When one wants to learn something that matters, in a manner that they will remember for a long time, grind is a necessity. Going through the phase where nothing other than sheer discipline and routine gets the student to complete the tough portions before being able to reap the reward of their hard work. Add to this my complete and utter hatred and avoidance of revision (I only like learning something new, not revising sadly), it tracks that I fail at learning new things in a correct manner or in any completeness.

I can waste time for hours on end, but I can't concentrate for 20 minutes at a time towards anything that requires sustained effort with a book. Since being able to concentrate for studying is more of a muscle memory action rather than something that can be done anytime, the hustle and bustle of MBA along with the million and one distractions present in the hostel has meant that I have not been exercising my studying muscles, leading them to grow weak to the point that even 15 minutes of boring subject or dry details and I am unable to withstand it.

Seriously Alice, I don't know how people do it but I do know that in the hostel my efficiency level has plunged below zero to the extent that I am not even sure that I am capable to finishing anything that I start.

But sometimes I also do ask myself, is it all my fault or is it also that the book is written in a drab manner? Is it that they haven't presented the information in a format that will pique my brain's curiosity and get me to read on and understand in a format that allows my brain to pick up takeaways and have a structured flow which leads to a learning objective at each turn. This however, needs to be done using the right balance between I E Irodov level of explanation versus Management books level of pfaffing for no reason. I generally learn better when I have two things: A deadline hanging on my head, moreover, an near impossible deadline to actually get me working and also key stepwise goals that need to be reached in a stepwise manner (although not too many steps) to get to the ultimate prize of learning it better. The jury will remain undecided for now given my severe inability to concentrate for even 15 minutes in studying. What is strikingly bad is that I was at this level of concentration and study ability back in my graduate days and all the effort put in to improving this has now been erased and it is back to square one again!

P.S: Most of my articles/ case comp participations are examples of something that I start off very enthusiastically towards the beginning and then fade off towards the middle and barely cobble something together in the end.

Lights out Alice!