What a shitty thing to do...

Lights out Alice!

Once again, I find myself having pulled my typical shit of walking away when getting critical and exactly true feedback on my quirks and shortcomings. To top it off, I came back and dozed off and did not inform the other person, who got worried sick about my non-response and was calling incessantly. The second part pisses me off as I played with the emotion of another person, something I vowed I would never do. Yet, I do not know why I keep causing hurt to the other person. I should stop existing in their lives altogether, something that I have been trying to institute but failed to do so till now. Yesterday night's mistake was entirely my fault and currently I should be the one that goes and tells a sorry, but I think this bad spot is a good point to end things.

I am a person who is:

• Inconsiderate
• Exaggerates
• Not a team player
• Cannot take criticism well, or at all
• Walks away from difficult situations, not a man enough
• Judges people way too quick
• Too self centered and egotistical
• Thinks the worlds revolves around him too much (narcissistic)
• Requires too much reassurance and validation
• Is an attention seeker
• Is too rigid in his approach and not flexible

The list is definitely true and these are my shortcomings. I don't know what the other person expects me to do about them. I will work on them and try to improve but I am not sure why my body language should be positive when listening about these. These are things that take time to improve and hence I know it will be a long road ahead...but I don't get why I need to compromise on my value systems and ethics to do all this? Why do I need to stop pushing to improve myself everyday for this? Should I not want to be better? Shouldn't I always strive for more? To never be happy with my work and always see room for improvement? Why is that hunger looked down upon? Yes, I need to be a better team player and this self-centered behaviour is bad, definitely...but are these issues that bad?

Am I that bad a human that every time it comes down to the fact that I am too rigid with my lifestyle and too set in my ways to listen to others?