Lights out Alice!
December came and it took away a big high point in my life...data analytics course taught by ISI professors. Even the last month of the course had become too tedious given my schedule and I was not able to follow the lectures. Maths has a very bad and peculiar nature that if you lose out on any class in between, you are never really able to catch up unless you put extraordinary effort, which I obviously did not.
Post that, I have spent the last two months chasing something that, although very important to me on a personal life front, was not adding to my knowledge and today I feel like I am slipping. I am not working hard enough. I am not pushing hard enough. I am not improving myself daily. I have become sloppy.
How can I do this to myself? What about those big dreams? Are they going to execute themselves? Why am I focusing on the irrelevant? Why am I talking about pointless gossip and people when I should be putting all my time and energy on ideas and solving problems?
I hope I come back to this video and remind myself of the importance of the grind/ being obsessed with improvement and being bat shit crazy:
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_KmsNRHVudk
I can't stop pushing. I don't have the natural talent that most others do. I need to put in the work. Why does the society shun this or people around me involuntarily end up pulling me away from this. There is so much out there that I don't know and there are no guarantees that anything would ever work out, so why should I give up trying? Why should I stop pushing? Furthermore, there is zero guarantees of the opportunities that I have today would be present tomorrow as well. Why not push like crazy when I am able to?
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