Alice, Blue Bloods is it!
Damn, I sorely missed being casually inspired by the principles and morals that Blue Bloods infuses in the viewers. It makes me want to be better, to push myself to be a better human being, to forget the distractions and things that do not matter and work on myself to get better, every single day and every waking moment.
I hate the fact that I have gotten so caught up in the frivolous, bickering and frustrated nature of campus life where everything is about people and their fake nature. I used to never give a damn about these stupid things but because of what I now find myself caught in, I have had to listen to these things and slowly but surely get myself entangled in them. Obviously, I would do it in a heartbeat for the person I was chasing, but as reality catches up, I did look up and saw that I was just chasing something that wanted nothing to do with me in the first place. She does not see me the way I see her, or even 10% of that. Maybe because of her past, maybe it is because we are actually not compatible and it is just one sided from my end or maybe it is something else entirely that I have no understand or comprehension of. Whatever it maybe, one thing is there that I did fall for her and no I have to bleed while close this chapter. The usual pain of withdrawal is kicking in. I want to text, I want to call and I want to run back to her. But I can't. I can't because I can no longer bear to go through another round of pain, to look into her eyes and fall back in love immediately and then see it get thrown aside and disregarded like a piece of rag. I can't do this to my heart anymore. Although I am pretty sure I am not faring any better in this lonesome existence, but I have to believe this is better than forcing someone to believe a lie. It's over and I need to accept it. Also, I need to prevent myself from falling for her again, which, given I was just going over her pictures not even five minutes back, is going to be pretty difficult. But we will get through it.
Coming back to Blue Bloods, I was watching the first episode of the thirteenth season and there is a exchange between Commissioner Frank Regan and Archbishop Kevin Kearns and this really inspired me:
"You bring the Rosary, I will bring the gun"
I keep thinking about why Blue Bloods inspires me and I fail to come up with a single instance that stands out as inspirational. That's what beautiful about Blue Bloods. It has class, virtues, morality ingrained in every scene and just within the narrative and ad-hoc it never shouts anything but overall it inspires a personal change. The above quote is a good example of the same. The dialogue, out of context, wouldn't really mean much to anybody, let alone inspire them, but in that scene, with context, it was a get up and sign up for anything that the person asks you to do kinda moment.
Been a while since I wrote to you Alice. Sorry for breaking the habit and I hope I will come back to you soon because you have been an excellent shelter for my thoughts and solace for my weathered mind.
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