Key takeway: Why am I rotting over someone who found it so easy to get over this? - largely because they never had anything and they are just "users", a term I am loosely coining to depict people who are only friendly to you because you are useful.
It is fine really, I got it all wrong. I was the shitter in this. It hurts pretty bad though and I end up lashing out even though the plan is to forgive and move on.
What I need to ensure and haven't been able to do is draw boundaries on what is acceptable and what isn't.
The loop is because my brain keeps going back thinking surely all of this can't be a dud? The late night walks, the laughs we shared, the statements where she claimed to be "truly happy". Just like the ones before...they really don't mind throwing it all away in one fell swoop. Maybe I was giving access away at a throwaway price, leading to them in turn taking things for granted or discarding it like trash.
"We looked at each other a little too long to be just friends..."
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