I have pondered many a time Alice, if I seek company out of loneliness/ desperation or genuine interest. I still don't have a concrete answer to this question but at least I can admit that I actually believe in the above. The idea. The loyalty. I have seen hardships in a relationship firsthand. I know how hard it can get.
...most of all, I have been lucky to see people get over the hill to the other side where despite all this, people stick together. I hope I can find the same one day. By no means am I an easy person to share space with, but I hope I work on it and get better.
Page 208: 'You don't fall in love with a gender, Anna-Lena. You fall in love with an idiot.'
Page 208: 'You don't fall in love with a gender, Anna-Lena. You fall in love with an idiot.'
I don't really get people in some ways. They claim maturity and wisdom and then go on to judge people by their words and not their actions. They claim being able to judge for the future, yet look at data points that are shallow and immaterial in the long run. They can't really get past what is right in front of them for what awaits beyond.
I like being an idiot. I know I can fall sometimes, but all I need is to have the tools to get back up and see through the situation when required (or at least I hope I can develop those in myself). Everyone is a hero till the battle comes to their doorstep and sacrifices need to be made. Even I am not sure if I will be able to step up. But I am sure to give it a good old try.
Page 216: When you are a child, you long to be an adult and decide everything for yourself, but when you are an adult, you realize that's the worst part of it. That you have to have opinions all the time...you have to make choices and be chosen by others, every second, the whole time...
Writing an opinion on the above sounds ironical, doesn't it?
Page 240: 'We can't change the world, and a lot of the time we can't even change people. No more than one bit at a time. So we do what we can to help whenever we get the chance, sweetheart. We save those we can. We do our best. then we try to find a way to convince ourselves that that will just have to ...be enough. So we can live with our failures without drowning.'
I still struggle with accepting the things I cannot change about myself and let my insecurities take over. I hope I can learn to accept the parts of me that I am ashamed about (and is not possible to change).
Page 243: One of the most human thing about anxiety is that we try to cure chaos with chaos. Someone who has got themselves into a catastrophic situation rarely retreats from it, we're far more inclined to carry on even faster. We've created lives where we can watch other people crash into the wall but still hope that somehow we're going to pass straight through it. The closer we get, the more confidently we believe that the unlikely solution is miraculously going to save us, while everyone watching us is just waiting for the crash.'
Page 246: ...Because the people we argue with hardest of all are not the ones who are completely different from us, but the ones who are almost no different at all.
Page 247: 'Boats that stay in the harbour are safe, sweetheart, but that's not what boats were built for.'
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