Lights out Alice!
As usual, when work hits, it hits all at once. Simultaneously. Parallel running and concurrently ending deadlines.
Therefore, Brain = Fried, head = ache, work efficiency = 0, progress = paralysis, anxiety on an increasing polynomial function.
Breath starts feeling shallower. World starts closing up. You can feel the room get stuffier, your breath faster but the ability to grasp oxygen with each breath reducing with each breath you take. It is as if with every breath the amount of oxygen that you can take in decreases and hence you have to balance between taking it faster versus making it last longer. An optimisation problem with one end, breathlessness panic.
This is how yesterday was for me with 4 project deadlines simultaneously coming up as well as deadlines for CAIML course which requires extensive work also falling in the same week. Everything demanding attention at the same time is a surefire recipe for getting nothing done at all and this leads to even more anxiety and spiralling. You try to make plans, grand of course, of how you will allocate just the right amount of time to get each of them done and how you are going to knock each of the projects out the park. Nothing like that. Actually, when the number of projects exceeds what is feasible, which is one a day, every two days, my efficiency goes down drastically and whatever I could easily cover on a normal day, I cover even less than that. I like my deadlines just slightly out of reach, or made to be out of reach artificially, not just pure impossible.
Next, this situation is made even worse because of me overeating, both in general and having sweets which I am supposed to stay away from given my borderline diabetic situation. But being under stress (read bored) and having sweet available at my fingertips ensures that I give into the craving and exceed my calorie quota for the day which ends up feeding into my regret.
How the hell do I get away from this Alice?
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