Lights out Alice!
It would have been fairly obvious from my blogs from 2016 that I have a soft spot for mathematics. I wasn't very good at it, but I always was a big fan of the subject. It only follows that ISI remains the one institute I would always dream of getting into. Not just that, but having met a few students and profs (and being taught by some of them as well) from the institute, I always wondered if I would be anywhere near their level of thinking, brain power and sheer intelligence. ISI was, is and probably will always remain hallowed ground revered by me with zero real hope of getting to the level where I can be a part of that institute.
It's not to say I have given up. I probably won't and will keep trying to improve myself day upon day to get anywhere close to these stalwarts but it probably will never come to pass. But I will still keep trying. I will get there one day and be deserving of the ground I would stand upon. My shortcomings remain the fact that I procrastinate a lot and that I talk and ideate more than I actually do stuff, and now that I am typing it out, I don't really know. I don't know if I can get over this duo of deadly bad habits and if I will ever work long enough and hard enough to be deserving of that level.
Two things that are omnipresent among students of esteemed institutions (basically the best minds in the country) such as ISI (other than their high level of innate talent and intelligence) which is their hard work and dedication. Yes, they have a level of innate talent that helps them understand processes and theorems faster but it does not come easy, contrary to what people might think. They can compute at a very high level, which also means that they have to work at a very high level and dive deeper, further and for much longer than us normies. Nobody gets to the level that these people operate at on talent alone. If they get there, they cannot sustain it or be able to teach to the world new things or contribute to their field. The burden that only the mentally gifted have to carry is the burden of being stimulated. They can easily understand most things around them and would find academic learning at usual levels BORING. Their peers would make for poor conversations as they cannot fathom the depths that they operate at and teachers would struggle to acknowledge their talent or the level that these kids can operate at. All of the above factors would lead to a state of mind that nothing really is stimulating them to push harder, to learn more or to excel and contribute to society in a meaningful way. They might end up not working towards their goals and lose their way. Although, life has a funny way of knocking people back into the path they really belong to and sooner or later, everyone gets their calling. Sadly, for a few people, it comes at a great personal loss. A loss that they cannot get over or a void that they cannot fill. They use their ability as a numbing agent to dull their senses and as a way to forget about their pain. As long as they channel it correctly, although it won't be sustainable, they won't fall off the wagon. But if these people are exposed to bad measures to cope with the pain, they can fall into the wrong crowd and head down a dark alley. Hopefully, life again knocks them back into place in one piece.
I hope I actually start working more than talking Alice!
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