Ah...this was inevitable

Originally drafted on 20th December 2022

Lights out Alice! Although you never judged me that way, because you are far too good for that, but this was a question that was inevitable given the way I conduct myself and also it isn't easy for me to show.

"I don't think you have a romantic side or if you can make people happy" - The obvious reaction would be to be hurt by the statement. Yes, I was, but only for a bit because my rationality took over and agreed with this. This is actually the perception. I am okay with that because that is the branding I am trying to create. I am not trying to appeal to ones that only see the short term side of things. Real life, according to what I have been through or seen is filled with things that are more than short term chemistry, romance or even lust.

Counter point to this: But this is important and sets the tone for the relationship.

My point: Does it though? Is the everyday sharing of tasks and me preparing someone a scrumptious breakfast not something in that direction? Can't romance be classy? Can't people be more than basic attraction? Shouldn't doing the little things add up to a big ball of care for that person? 

Isn't it better to show the side you can sustain versus something that is a temporary ball of fire? Life is more than just a few weeks of heightened activities. There are a lot of downs and crappy outcomes that we have to bear. Shouldn't the test be who you would want to go through it all? Isn't everything easier when the times are easy so shouldn't the plan be for when it gets tough who you would want to stand by you and be there?

For me, being actually interested in the other person's growth far more important than the basic short term fun that can be had. 

Is it wrong to be the biggest cheerleader and support for your partner's success? Isn't that R-word enough? Yes, I don't like showing emotions or using the L word, but that does not reduce my emotions or the gravity of it.

Counter point: Obviously, I like...

Updated on 4th Jan: I stopped there on 20th Dec, the original date when I had written down those thoughts. Lot of stuff went down and now this phase is over and I am in a bad place. Not sure if I will come back to this, but I really hope to come back and journal it all.