I don't know Alice! Things that we in the past (SB) seem to not affect me so much anymore. There was a time I used to feel so overwhelmed trying to get that person to calm down and trying to contain that situation. I kept looking for an answer, anything that I could do that would help them get out of the loop and diffuse the situation. Now, I was drawn back to the same shit, even though I have been consistently distant, or more so because of it, but this time I was far less bothered. I want to believe this was because I know that it wasn't entirely because of my actions, but the truth is that my actions were wrong, but they needed to happen. I have been wanting to withdraw from this for a long time now, especially seeing how conveniently people have forgotten what they have done in the past and just assuming that it is closed. Yes, it is closed, but I got hurt and I have every right to not be available at the same level anymore. It is not like I have not made this clear to the other person or am stringing them along. Yet, they seem to get offended by my actions. At this point, I don't know what to do but I do know that my stand on this is clear, regardless of how bad a picture that person seems to be drawing of me.
On a similar vein, it has been a while since RC ended as well. Last Friday was the last straw after the last straw. The last straw was the day when I was told I was just "convenient and a timepass". Last Friday was when RC chose to be indifferent by my absence in a meetup that saw me drop her off and wait for others to arrive, only for them to then continue plans without me 15 minutes before the meetup was about to happen. What bothered me on the RC front was that RC knew that I was nearby waiting for others to wrap up their previous engagement. She was informed of the change of plans and chose to not speak up. I even get the fact that she would have wanted to keep the fact that I dropped her on the down low, but it didn't bother her even a bit to check with me once? Dayum bruh, this is the level of respect I got after doing so much for that person. Obviously, I never did anything with malintent, but that doesn't also mean that it should be taken for granted at this level. However, it confirms a few things...either it was really nothing or that person is a user. I still would like to believe the former and not the latter as the latter is something that I am assuming since I am too sensitive of their actions.
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