I have always been a loner and still am. Nobody ever stayed. I have been lucky to have great people and family around me, but in the personal front, damn yo...I am pretty old and never really had a long termer.
How much of it can be attributed to my own behaviour? A lot! But does than explain away the situation in its entireity. Not even close. Some of it has also been bad luck. Most of it, by design (read: the way I behave), I end up attracting the wrong set of people.
I am guilty of referencing the fact that if it doesn't happen, I am okay alone, but damn dude, some days it feels real bad. Thankfully, I have family around me which softens the blow, but pretty soon I won't have that safeguard as well and I am not sure I am strong enough to handle that. I truly believe in the philosophy that since our lives are so insignificant, we need a witness to feel like we are actually not so. A witness to share the highs, the lows, to just not be reminded of our insignificant worth in the cosmos. The right person can make the world revolve around them and make you forget the cosmos. However, is it worth bending beliefs just to escape this feeling? Although, principles (or ethics) is a matter of convenience.
Only time will tell which way the sword falls, hooefully I make it out...and even if I don't, I hope the people that matter to me are not affected too much.
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