Lights out Alice!
Regardless of what I may claim outwardly, I would never want to accept that I would never be able to contribute anything significant to the world, in metrics of my choice. Rationally, my mind would obviously reason with me that I should know that I would never amount to anything. But to accept it, to actually accept it and see your potential or effort wither away is a scary proposition beyond belief.
I still haven't figured out what I really want. I haven't been putting in the right effort or even testing out the right areas to get an answer as to what is suitable or what isn't. I have been procrastinating through a veil called planning and figuring out first before acting. The truth is that none of it is a given anyways. It takes time and doing. A lot of time and a lot of things before we stumble onto what is truly meant for us.
The horrifying thought is that in the pretext of planning and trying to figure it out, I would have lost my chance, that my procrastination would be the cause that would lead me to amount to nothing.
Will I never be good enough Alice?
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