Then there are days where everything falls apart.
However, most days we are lost.
Lost because we keep trying to search for meaning in the wrong places.
Lost because we keep trying to prioritize everything but our inner voice/ gut feeling.
..
..
Lost because, well, because I no longer have a purpose to help me streamline my actions.
Lost, because, well, my actions have led me to self-isolate.
Lost, because, I haven't given myself a proper break for a long time. I haven't sat myself down and just heard.
If I just read that one book, watch that one interesting episode, read that paper, finish that code, derive that analysis...somehow it will all fall into place...somehow I will deserve all the good luck that has recently fallen my way ..that someone that anxiety will go away.
But the fact remains that I feel unworthy, regardless of that next thing that my ADHD brain latches onto. Hence, the solution cannot be the next thing...cannot be doing more.
In my case, the solution only presents itself when slowing it down. Reducing the clutter. Doing less.
If only I could be a better friend to my own self.
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