What is balance?

Lights out Alice!

The dream place to work for many in terms of work life balance, as everyone keeps reminding me. However, I see it differently. I see it as a place where there is excess leisure and not enough incentive to think of solutions that push the mould or is inventive. I see a culture of complacency that is ingrained in maintaining the status quo, which is a surefire way of ending up behind the curve.

However, I will also be the first person to acknowledge that I do not do well in situations that are not overstimulating. I do not do well when everything is cozy, normal and functioning in a manner that is not shit on fire. Being an average student who never lived up to his potential, this situation is a perfect shitstorm that triggers my anxiety:

1. More than adequate work-life balance

2. Co-workers are super friendly and non-toxic

3.Co-workers are smart and the culture is built on intelligence rather than politics

All I am trying to say is that this is not the culture that suits a ADHD like me who likes being a cynic and always play the devil's advocate. I am the perfect breeding ground for perpetrating toxic hustle culture, but that is because I have long ingrained in myself the belief that if you are not pushing to improve, you are stagnating.

Which also brings me to the counter point. If everyone is so chilled out, is improvement on the cards or just maintaining the levels the priority, which over time will definitely leave things falling behind. As I write this, I also see the fact that I am just voicing the biggest fear and loudest voice in my head, which is becoming complacent and falling behind. I do see the wonders that a calmer environment can bring, but for a person like me, who needs to be 110% booked to function normally, this can exacerbate deep rooted fears.

Furthermore, I have a bit of time on my hands these days which led to this introspection. However, when I account for future commitments beyond work, I realize that this is effectively the max one can do while juggling a family and the responsibilities that come with it (or is it?)

Only time will tell Alice, but in any case, the answer shall present itself if the priorities are clear.