Sit Rep

Lights out Alice!

Situation report: Issues remain, battling them a bit worse than usual. Life is pretty okay, which leads to that crippling and ominous feeling that danger awaits in the next corner. It's pretty funny that when you get so used to pain in life that it becomes almost the norm and is a source of comfort. You become so used to fighting to survive and struggling to stand up that when the headwinds subside it is unsettling. At this point in time, the mind weaves an illusion that it would be better to be in adversity since the entire focus could be directed towards that and there would be no time for wandering thoughts. This mindset is pretty bad and analogous to a country that only knows how to live under wartime and falls into shambles during peacetime because it does not know how to operate in non-emergency circumstances.

What's it like in the new place: Life generally works out well. Most definitely better things can exist out there, on higher floors, wider carpet area, swankier furnishing or any furnishing for that matter but the simple funda is that this fits. This fits well. It is clean, open, has a view that is pretty green and also balanced wherein the view outside is not of decadence but on that reminds me that I have been plain lucky and there are people who work twice as hard and aren't as lucky but definitely a hundred times more deserving. The atmosphere in the place is pretty residential, which is to say people are definitely curious but they also let you be. I am mesmerized by the fact that the view outside has coconut trees and their leaves hide the rolling clouds as they bring in the ever present and incessant rain in Mumbai.

Oh, also I fell into that trap again. I got swooned by another person and once again it has all promises to be unrequited. This sucks as this takes away from me doing my job properly and being able to focus on getting back onto the level I used to operate. That or the fact that I am just using another excuse to justify the fact that I am not doing a good enough job because I have lost all my focus.

I suck Alice!