The ability to stay quiet in situations

Lights out Alice!

One of the most admired feature that my dad has, after his patience, is the ability to stay quiet in any conversation. He does not get irritated, he does not get instigated or forced into replying. It is the sort of unnerving and uneasy quiet that forces the other person to nervously bare their soul in front of him to get any sort of approval. I don't know if this quiet is a good thing. All it does is ensure that I am rambling on and I feel like the loser and the impatient one at the end of the conversation since I was the only one who talked and my dad kept his problems or his advice to himself.

But it is definitely a superpower. Most of the time, as post mortem analysis of any argument will tell you, both sides speak out in anger and are driven by emotions, either reacting to the other side's accusations or feeling misunderstood. In the moment, at least personally, I have the burgeoning urge to just clarify every accusation and why I am the model of perfection and why the other person is dead wrong. They can be, but in this fit of rage, I rarely LISTEN to what they are saying, barely understanding that their POV might be true and regardless of my intention, the effect on them can be negative. 

Especially with my mom, I have seen that I somehow always end up criticising her and making her feel bad about her emotions. To make it worse, I always try to point it out in the very heat of the moment, thinking that it is the best time to do it. Right now, I know it is wrong, but I still haven't been able to diagnose the root cause as to why I think I have developed that habit and how I can stop it. I definitely need to stop it because I need to behave in a better manner with my mom. I am often too rude and discourteous. I need to respect her more and not try to belittle her.