History repeats itself...and how!!
I have once again been told that I was nothing more than just a convenient piece of single use plastic and it was wrong of me to take the countless late night outings "as a hint".
My biggest insecurity and fear has always been that I am reading people wrong and I am stepping in on a place where I was not invited. Obviously this comes from poor nervous system regulation ability curated through the wild childhood I had, complimented by restless, if not ADHD brain.
At this point, this person is now the fourth person in a row to have done this, but since I made the mistake of still showing up when there was help required, I was thanked with the statement, "oh it was nothing serious, I was just having fun..."
I didn't know statements could hurt like that. It is not like I led the person on. I had clarified my interest. It is okay if somebody slips, but to then label it in such a trivial manner as just a fling...after hanging out for months...and then claiming that I took the wrong hint...this does shatter me to bits. Pieces that I have to pick up and rebuild once more.
Which is fine, but what hurts and what will continue to hurt is how it became my problem of incorrect interpretation and how there was ZERO feelings ever from her end and how I took the wrong hint.
KP, SB, MDS and now RC. Same shit, different ways. Use a person when it is convenient and then throw them in the dustbin and make them feel like worthless garbage.
