Lights out Alice!
A good friend of mine today reminded me that my self control is at a level that is negative of whatever is the highest positive level.
I can't control myself, my thoughts are freer than the wind, and when you try to rein it down, they explode into smoke. I just can't. Nope.
But as i have learned over the years, it is the control of the body, soul and the mind that is the greatest achievement of Adult life. So, yeah, i am a failure on that account till now.
No, not all areas of life need you to "grow up", but control over oneself is something that one should never give up on. This control over self is foremost threatened by the evil master, Procrastination, who with it's charm and comfort leads you to believe that everything is going fine even though it is actually a train wreck. Actually, it is more like a plane wreck, since the chances of survival are lesser in the later.
There is a pattern to this though. If all of your goals that you set out to achieve for the day end in frustration over lack of actual work done, then yes, you are doomed. Congratulations, Procrastination is now your master, and thou it's slave and thine wish shall never come true ever again. Only pangs of emotion, tearing your apart for not doing things that were meant to be done and instead focusing on things that give immediate comfort (and long term distress).
I really feel this urge to talk to someone special, but i know deep down that this will lead to my own doom and complicate things further, I realized after a heated argument with my brain that my heart is wrong and that silence is the option that i have to choose.
It isn't what i would like, since i would sincerely like to that someone and tell them that i am not wrong and i didn't choose the other side, i just didn't take sides and continued doing what i was. I could say this to that someone but experience (mostly sitcoms) have taught me that that someone might not understand the emotions behind the statement and interpret it in the million wrong ways i don't want it to interpreted as.
I wish i could say all this to that someone, but because i can't, i leave my words with you, the unfortunate reader, who had the misfortune to come across this blog and read the sorry state of affairs that i am stuck in.
Hope it doesn't happen to you too, and if it does, i sincerely wish that you can find a solution to it in the same way i hope that the grand master Time will show me the solution, because, in the end, all we ever lose is time, the every changing constant.
Have a good night Alice and Lights Out!
A good friend of mine today reminded me that my self control is at a level that is negative of whatever is the highest positive level.
I can't control myself, my thoughts are freer than the wind, and when you try to rein it down, they explode into smoke. I just can't. Nope.
But as i have learned over the years, it is the control of the body, soul and the mind that is the greatest achievement of Adult life. So, yeah, i am a failure on that account till now.
No, not all areas of life need you to "grow up", but control over oneself is something that one should never give up on. This control over self is foremost threatened by the evil master, Procrastination, who with it's charm and comfort leads you to believe that everything is going fine even though it is actually a train wreck. Actually, it is more like a plane wreck, since the chances of survival are lesser in the later.
There is a pattern to this though. If all of your goals that you set out to achieve for the day end in frustration over lack of actual work done, then yes, you are doomed. Congratulations, Procrastination is now your master, and thou it's slave and thine wish shall never come true ever again. Only pangs of emotion, tearing your apart for not doing things that were meant to be done and instead focusing on things that give immediate comfort (and long term distress).
I really feel this urge to talk to someone special, but i know deep down that this will lead to my own doom and complicate things further, I realized after a heated argument with my brain that my heart is wrong and that silence is the option that i have to choose.
It isn't what i would like, since i would sincerely like to that someone and tell them that i am not wrong and i didn't choose the other side, i just didn't take sides and continued doing what i was. I could say this to that someone but experience (mostly sitcoms) have taught me that that someone might not understand the emotions behind the statement and interpret it in the million wrong ways i don't want it to interpreted as.
I wish i could say all this to that someone, but because i can't, i leave my words with you, the unfortunate reader, who had the misfortune to come across this blog and read the sorry state of affairs that i am stuck in.
Hope it doesn't happen to you too, and if it does, i sincerely wish that you can find a solution to it in the same way i hope that the grand master Time will show me the solution, because, in the end, all we ever lose is time, the every changing constant.
Have a good night Alice and Lights Out!
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