Far left things that I like

Lights out Alice!

It is not without a lot of consideration that I am willing to write about things that I do like. Opening up is just not me, although, one may laugh at that since I can't really keep anything to myself, hold a secret, engage in a conversation or not be blunt. Yes, I am really bad at conversations, mostly because I rarely had any meaningful ones. The ones which could have been helpful, informative and growth inducing generally end abruptly because I can't take feedback or criticism well.  I AM TRYING DAMMIT...but it is in my nature to take everything personally and feel attacked. The obvious response to an attack is putting up a defense which results in the entire session becoming useless from there on since I am not listening to anything and just trying to cover up for my mistakes.

Far left web series that I liked watching:

1. Hi Score Girl

2. What's wrong with Secretary Kim

The common thread that would be visible on the outset is that they are Romance based titles, which is a sign of a closeted guy, given the fact that I have had no meaningful interactions with anyone in real life. But a closer look will tell you a story of a person who is generally so focused on their work that they are oblivious to the things or people around them. They are often misunderstood, feel like they do not belong and are almost always alone in a crowd. On a side note, everyday I see our current society moving towards that fractured state. Just like Secretary Kim and the Gamer in Hi Score Girl, the best part of getting better is the unshakeable devotion, the fish eyed focus that makes you see only your goal in front of you. I envy that. I envy that passion, that desire to excel at something, anything really, as long as you make it your own. As long as you are so focused on that path that you barely have any capacity to look left or right and if you can realize that you are in that state, given that the process/ state is an enjoyable one, things are going to turn out well for you.

Just as you kept thanking the Gods above for the streak of good days that he showered on you, knowing full well that it would all come crashing down pretty soon, please ensure that you keep your faith up when things are looking down and everything is going wrong. Use that strength that you asked for on a good day, hold on a bit longer and whatever you do, don't stop, don't let go of that goal. Slowing down is okay, looking back is acceptable, and even tumbling backwards can happen, but whatever happens, NEVER GIVE UP!

But don't forget Alice, it is always important to enjoy the process as well!

Taking a stroll down a lane

 Lights out Alice!

Since exams are right around the corner, my almost hermitic lifestyle has turned even more secluded with visits outside my home reduced to less than once every 10 days. I don't rue my condition, since I am more or less used to it and more so, I do understand the situation I am in that requires me to live this way. A casual walk of around 2 kilometers generally takes an hour all in, which is an hour lost from study time since my breaks are tamperproof and inflexible. If I was as punctual with my studies as I am with my breaks, I would actually be good. Today was one day that I could take a evening stroll, obviously because I had to go out to visit my doctor since my chronic allergy symptoms had reappeared just one day after my meds ran out.

As I was walking down the alley next to my home, I realized that we all have a lane, a walkway, a pathway or a road that we know better than others. A road, that we can walk up and down in our heads. A road whose every broken light, every flickering lamp post, every wobbly  drain cover is vividly imprinted or etched in our memories. Some of us are lucky enough to have a happy memory associated with that pathway, a fond recollection of a time when we used to wander up and down to and from something fun. Something done enough number of times with enough enthusiasm every time that unbridled joy comes flooding back every time you walk down that road. Sadly, just as every road is different, every experience is defined by the person and is unique to that person. Some, sadly, have painful memories that come haunting back every time they cross that road. A dog bite, an accident, an untoward incident, all lead to bitter saliva in your tongue. We try, try hard to erase them, but just like a happy memory, an unhappy memory is also vividly etched in our heads. All we can hope is for time to create a path for us to travel with least resistance, just like a stream finds its way through rocks and creates a path for itself through dogged persistence.

That's all Alice..get ready for the exam!

CFD and Fluid Mechanics learning resources

 Lights out Alice!

Here is a list of resources that can help you satisfy your curiosity regarding CFD and Fluid Mechanics. Note that most of the CFD portion of this list was curated with the help of https://blog.feedspot.com/fluid_mechanics_blogs/  and all credit goes to them.

Basics of Aerodynamics: https://www.grc.nasa.gov/www/k-12/airplane/bga.html

Awesome Practical Fluid mechanics: https://teachingfluids.wordpress.com/

Blogs on CFD: 

• https://www.computationalfluiddynamics.com.au/
• http://www.cfdreview.com/

Comprehensive knowledge base on CFD:

• https://www.learncax.com/knowledge-base/blog/

Awesome blog on Fluid:

• https://fyfluiddynamics.com/

How to get started with CFD: https://www.learncax.com/knowledge-base/blog/how-to-learn-cfd-the-beginners-guide

Keep learning Alice!

Topics I need to learn...eventually

Lights out Alice,

It is correctly said, when it rains, it pours. I have been off blogger for a couple of months now, and this happens to be my second post of the day. My motivation, just like other aspects of my life, is like a sine wave.

This post is meant to log all the areas I feel I didn't do justice to when I was given the time to do just that. Obviously, I am weaker in more areas than I am strong at, but it is not how you begin but the progress you make. I hope that down the line, I take the time to improve upon these areas.

Class 12 physics: Rotation and Inertia - This keeps haunting me. Why did I not study this portion better?

Class 12 physics: Electromagnetism - As can be noted, I pretty much messed up my Physics preparation.

Engineering Year 1: Mechanics - Statics and Dynamics - Following my colossal mistake of skipping rotational motion, misery was compounded by my pathetic attempt to study Mechanics

Engineering Year 2:

• Strength of Materials
• Fluid Mechanics
• Theory of Machines

To be honest, second year of engineering was my worst year in terms of academics. Too many subjects to master, not enough time dedicated to master it in. But my appetite was whetted. I really liked these subjects, the complexity involved in it's study and the satisfaction when you could apply a concept in real life. I wasn't good enough, but I really hope I get another shot at learning these topics better.

Engineering Year 3:

• Heat Transfer
• Design of Machine Elements
• Fluid Mechanics
• Finite Element Analysis
• Computational Fluid Dynamics

Automobiles:

• RCVD
• Tune to win
• Race Car Aerodynamics by Katz
• VD by Gillespie

Basics of Electronics and Electrical engineering

I know Alice that people do not get a second chance in life, that a moment once lost can never be found again. But I do hope, that somehow, somewhere, I can get better, I can be better and get a chance to learn these subjects the way they were meant to be learnt. I am interested in the mind blowing knowledge that these subjects hold and the fact that understanding these concepts will help me get a better understanding of the world around me.

Till then, lights out Alice!

Let's talk about my negatives and positives

Lights out Alice,

It has been a while since I last typed out my thoughts. No, I do not lack thoughts but am plagued by procrastination that gives me an overwhelming sense of achievement after just doing the initial 10 percent and then dropping out. This is just straight up indiscipline on my end, but hey, journey to getting rid of procrastination is no different than any other addiction, in which it is a long road, riddled with obstacles of temptation and dead ends of relapse. The point is to never give up trying. One good day, one good study session or even one good problem solved is all you need to turn it all around. Maintaining that positive momentum though is another ball game. Maintaining a high level of function over a long period of time is what separates the best from the rest. You can have a bad day. But how you pick yourself up, or rather, how fast you pick yourself up from that bad day to get back to the upper echelons of your performance is what will define you.

If you think that this post will have a bulleted list pointing out my positives and negatives, you are wrong since these attributes need an outlying condition to colour themselves in. In certain situations, I may find them helpful and in another set of conditions they can be a crutch. Every product has a pre-defined working condition and using it outside of those set of conditions may give you adverse results or even sometimes false positives, but they are not dependable since the data is tainted by its incorrect operating conditions.

As I would have mentioned multiple times on multiple occasions, I like starting new things, thinking of new ideas, but occasionally fail to see them through. I started this post but failed to complete it. This is my second attempt at completing it. I cannot completely and immediately eliminate this bad habit of leaving things incomplete, but I can put fail-safe in my working methodology to remind me of a pending work. For instance, I purposely left the draft tab of this blog open to remind myself of this pending work the next time I opened my laptop. I know that always trying to find a work around leads you to occasionally skip understanding the design purpose of a system and why it was made that way and more often than not, people end up using the product incorrectly and then blame the product. Similar to this product design philosophy, sometimes you just have to force yourself to do the difficult thing, to finish what you start, to not leave things hanging. Other times you just take the loss in your stride and strive to be better the next time round.

As I mentioned in the initial stages of this blog, ever potential flaw can also be a positive given the right operating circumstance. My inability to complete things in one go has also lead me to always linger on a matter till it is actually complete. I do procrastinate, but their is a morsel of remorse in the back of my mind like a subtle back pain that becomes profoundly obvious every time you try getting up. Hence, I have also developed an attitude of keeping at it till I get it done. Yes, I make take a longer time than required, yes, the quality of work may be worse than expected, but, I will get it done. Now, tomorrow or even six months after everyone has forgotten about it. Obviously, it is not always the case and this lingering attitude only works 75 percent of the time. 

 Another "characteristic flaw" in me is my ability to hit the refresh button every day. That's a pretty nice way of saying, I forget a lot. Like a LOT. The only saving grace is that sometimes, although not enough times, my subconscious remembers it for me. I am pretty forgetful and I can barely remember formulas. This has been made worse by me simply accepting this fate and not doing a whole lot to improve my memory. I can remember complex processes, as long as I can visualize it, and paint a graphic picture in my head as to the how and why it came about. But remembering a piece of information without the reference to connect it to and without the why or the how is simply a losing battle for me. I am really bad at connecting dots when explained by someone else and my brain refuses to retain or understand anything that it itself doesn't get to first. My brain has to tread it's own course and chart it's own path. Once it does that and notes the problems that have occurred, only then can it listen to others. After that, it also likes to find similarities in the troubles faced by others to take solace in the fact that it wasn't the only one. Yes, I do realize I am talking about my brain like it is a different person but that's just it, it is. I, as a body just feel like I am just reacting to the whims and fancies of my brain.

Now, the positive part of this forgetfulness. I can reset. I can forget yesterday and reset and try again the next day. When I wake up, I do not carry over anything from yesterday. Sadly, it also implies that I lose my motivation as well and need time to get started on my day. I need to remind myself of my goals, my reasons to pursue what I need to be pursuing and caution myself against making the same mistakes I have been making in the past. Unfortunately, it doesn't always work. There are days when I forget why I need to working instead of procrastinating. There are days when I end up making the same mistakes I hated myself for making a few weeks back. Most days I am barely able to stick to the plan I made for myself the previous night.

But, there are also some days when I wake up and am just able to solve that one question that had been bugging me for a week. There are also some days in which I can wake up and understand a process clearly and figure out the potential pros and cons ahead of time. There are days where I can visualize a user experience better than others because I can put myself in the frame of mind where I am experiencing the product for the first time. I can put on the hat of what a user wants, what a particular level of familiarity with the product can bring and what should or shouldn't be expected of a new user that is experiencing the product for the first time. I can tell you the pros and cons of a product user experience better than most on some days. And those are the days that make me less remorseful of the negative days.

Alice, I do hope that I can swing more positive days over negative ones, but as always, I will keep striving for more. Till then...

Lights out Alice!

Hopefully, a lifelong journey of learning | A beginning...in a sea of new beginnings

Hello readers (or just me when I come back to check on this in a few years),

This is my alternate blog theme, where I hope to record all the learning I plan to undertake in my post university days.

As can be deciphered from the post title, I  am pretty good at starting fifteen different things, but really bad at staying committed to even one. My commitment, passion, discipline, knowledge and every other aspect of my life can easily be plotted in the form of a cosine curve. I start any activity with full gusto, all hyped up with multiple case scenarios for tackling it, multiple schedules to account for conflict or interruptions but fizzle out within weeks. Then, again a few weeks later, I get angry at myself for not pushing hard enough, for dropping out on things, and go back to pick up the activity. The cycle repeats itself...1 to 0, 0 to -1, - 1 to 0, 0 to 1 and on and on...

So, here I am. Beginning another new thing. In a sea of new beginnings I have made in the past few weeks. Only time will tell if I can hang on to this one or this one joins the sea of failures that I have accomplished (get it!) over the years.

Stay safe out there!

Cheers,
Shubham Thakur