Where's the Motivation?

Lights out Alice!

It's a Sunday and it is pretty cold outside, if you are in Delhi (1°C), which thankfully I am not. But as always, I digress. Don't worry, I will keep digressing time and again, and it is a feature of this scatterbrain mind, but I would hope that I only lack in concentration and not organization. To be fair to my brain, I don't exactly lack concentration per se, but I lack the ability to focus on a specific topic for too long. Now this also depends on a lot of other factors, but the most important among them is my interest level towards the said topic.

If I am interested in a topic, even if it is something that might have nothing to do with me or my regular field or study, I will research it to the end of the world (read "internet"). All it takes for me to pour the next half hour or an hour of my time into something is it piquing my curiosity. That's it. Get me interested and I am in. Which brings me to the problem as described in the title of this blog.

Where's the Motivation?
Motivation for? Motivation to do what? Motivation to ensure what?

Well it is as easy and tough as these questions are to answer. Again, if the topic interests you, answering the above questions are easy. This is regardless of the topic being known or a known unknown to you. But if it is a unknown unknown and something that is outside the general scope of my interest, then these questions are immensely difficult to answer.

To elaborate on the problem of motivation, let me describe my current situation. After one and a half years of working intently towards a certain field of study, I had to change my field (obviously suddenly and without any choice) to something I had previously despised (and vocally at that). The opportunities in the previous field were dwindling and the logical choice was to change focus to something that has a greater potential to give returns on the investment I was making with my time. But the interest in this new field just isn't up to the level that I had in the previous field. I still haven't found what I would like to pursue further, still haven't come across a interesting research that I would like to dive deeper into and I keep going back to dreaming about my previous field. In fairness to the new field, I did not have enough time to scour the internet for it's interesting aspects and I am sure the deeper I will go, the further I will find topics to allay this fear. As mentioned in my previous blog, the world of behavioural economics does interest me, but I am yet to understand how I can play a role in that. Alice, you would be happy to know that I am trying to be better everyday (although progress hasn't been great and I keep failing daily) and that I am trying to pick up understanding human thoughts, processes, emotions and reactions better along with trying to pick the awesome but mind boggling game of chess. Yes, I should know it already, and apologies for never really learning it, but I am trying to learn it through thorough study and analysis of moves along with an in- depth knowledge of different scenarios.

But don't worry Alice, therein lies the solution to the problem. If I can figure out a way to answer these questions, I will most probably generate interest and motivation for that topic. If I can tell myself that the future is generally unknown and you may never know where paths may lead or broken paths may come to join us again, then I prepare myself to be ready for everyday just by trying harder everytime. Sounds easy, right? Don't worry, It is tough.

No, that's not rough.
And you haven't had enough.
Because sure enough,
Life's all about the going getting tough!

Forgive my pathetic attempt at poetry, Alice! 

What interests me in the field of Marketing

Lights out Alice!

Now that I have decided to dip my toe in the cut-throat, every-man/woman to himself/herself world of Business Administration, I realized that the first step for me would be to figure out my interests. I always believed in doing my homework before turning up for something, even if that something was as nonchalant as a new day or as opaque as life in general. Even when I was pursuing a M.tech degree, I seemed (or at least convinced myself of) to know what I wanted to pursue when I got into the program and had a vague idea (although I had a sneaking suspicion that it would not work out that way or the truth might be far from my visions) of where I would end up or what topics I would be researching in. All this background context brings me to the present morning, wherein the first thing I have taken up is figuring out things that pique my interest in the vast and as of yet uncharted waters of the Business Administration world.

Before diving down the rabbit hole that is my research methodology, I would like to list out my top two notably weak areas that would require immediate improvement in the coming months.

• I have a habit of always seeing the grass on the other side as greener, not being content with what I have even though when I was on the other side, I was just as miserable with my situation. Be careful what you wish for, Alice!
• I have a pathetic habit of forgetting interactions, names and key takeaways from meetings with people. I am in general not a people person, but sadly in this field, you got to be one. Try harder to remember names and conversations along with key pointers during interactions Alice!

Now that I have cleared up the fact that I am a frail human who is just as broken as the next guy, let's start building a better tomorrow, beginning with finding out a few areas that can get the curious cat in me to awaken, just as the smell of fish awakens the ever-sleeping-in-weirder-places cat that you don't even own.

• Behavioral Economics: The witchcraft that deciphers psychological underpinnings that lead up to every decision that a human makes. It connects psychology to economics and financial decisions.
• https://www.behavioraleconomics.com/resources/introduction-behavioral-economics/
• Heuristics and Cognitive Biases:
• https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-a-heuristic-2795235
• Pschological and Economical Malaise
• Fungibility
• Mental Accounting and the loss of pain

It is never enough, Alice!

Missing things only when they are gone

Lights out Alice!

As you would have already gathered, I am the kind of person who is foolishly ignorant of how lucky I am to have met with the kind of awesome people who were a part of ESI over the years. I had a strong presence in the competition for over 4 years (* who am I kidding, I used to breathe ESI), and because of my role, I had up close and personal interaction with a lot of people who were really good, scratch that, great at what they did while being truly humble about it.

I am grateful for Soumya, the head of the event at Enduro Student India or Baja Student India as it was called back when I met him, for showing faith in me, giving me the opportunity to prove myself, having patience with me (I cannot stress this enough), and moulding me into what I am today. I have learnt a lot, a real lot from him and he will always be my mentor.

I am grateful for the friends I made from the competition; although I am a lousy friend in specific and person in general; they took me in as one of their own and never did they make me feel like an outsider. Sachin, Somy and Deepak aka the Scolarian crew always turned up with a smile and worked their backs off at the competition. The calmness about which they went on their jobs was eclipsed only by their relaxed and helpful attitude at all times, be it 6 am in the morning or 11 pm at night. They were always there for us, for the competition, for me.

All the others I met through the years, a list too long to write and in fear that I will miss someone out, were all an integral part in moulding me. Although I have not yet reached my final form or have left behind all my sinister habits, I am a better person than I was 5 years ago and I owe to all to them (after my parents of course).

Hope I can keep getting better and one day rid myself of all vices that keep ailing me while forever respecting the people around me.

May you always look to do better in life Alice!

Pop out Roll bars

Lights out Alice!

Did you know, for I can adamantly claim being ignorant about the fact that convertible cars have Pop out roll over bars in case of a roll over.

For me, most "ingenious" solutions that I come up with, for an application within or outside my expertise (mostly outside), are generally solutions that already exist out in the real world, but I am unaware of their existence due to my ignorance.

The red-faced moment that arises every time I "google" the idea and see  hundreds of similar or improved interpretation of the same solution is like a head on collision with a wall while walking absent-mindedly. You are not paying attention and BAM!! You hit the wall, become flustered, confused, disoriented, angry and humiliated at the same time, all the while hoping nobody has seen you crashing into the wall. But you know deep down inside that it would be in that very moment, the otherwise self centered world would look up from the entrancing screens and catch you in your embarrassing act.

Link to the roll over simulation video for pop out roll over bars: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdOd0fa3w0k

Be careful out there Alice!

Anticipating failure while doing nothing about it

Lights out Alice!

Hope you are doing good. I wanted to touch upon one of my abilities that currently gone into a state of disarray. In my high school days, I had an Elizabethan command over my English and could wave a wand of exuberant words to make an exhilarating sentence that could trance it's listeners into thinking of my greatness over the command of the language.

But sadly, as with any skill that goes unpracticed, I have lost my command over my English. I can tell because the above paragraph that contains a concoction of fancy words has more than a few errors, and that's just what I found through a cursory glance. I am sure more errors will creep through a more in depth analysis.

You will be able to gauge the severity of the situation when I paraphrase in the paragraph below a description of a weak moment I had faced a few days back.

Despair, like beads of sweat, kept trickling down from my temple.
Hope, like salty sweat sheathing my body, evapourating throughout my body as failure became imminent.
The fire from the burning flame of failure, intertwined with my very existence and sown deep into the core of my being made breathing a tedious affair.
The ingredients of success, persistence, discipline, hard work and a never give up attitude along with the special sauce, the ability to meet your deadlines, are now lost to me. A recipe now forgotten. A species now extinct. A time that passed. A moment that faded into nothingness.

It's pretty trivial and easy to see, Alice, that I am pretty bad at meeting my deadlines, at discipline, at meeting my goals, at seeing through all the things that I start. It comes down to the core issue, lack of discipline and focus. That's all I need right now and that's all I can't seem to find.

Have a good day Alice and don't you cry for me, because I will survive. I may not be the best I could be, but hopefully I can keep myself from being the worst I could be.

Lights out Alice!

What's in a habit?

Lights Out Alice!

What's in a habit? Is it our sub conscious giving into the societal conformations, agreeing to go by general convention of what is agreed to be a good form of addiction.

As is the general trend with my questions, it's followed up with the answer that "I don't know the answer."

For starters though, writing a blog post is definitely not one of my habits. Starting too many things, not seeing them through and getting easily distracted are things i would file under my habits section.